Picky girl

Anyone that knows me and my daughter Lily, knows what a picky eater she is. Her list of things she will eat is very small; I try to introduce her to new things but that usually results in her gagging and throwing up (not fun when out in public). If it doesnt involve cheese, chances are she won't eat it or go near it. It's frustrating because not everything is covered and smothered in cheese and I want to be sure she is eating healthy and getting more nutrients but she is so stubborn and difficult that it's almost impossible. Even hiding veggies in her food doesn't work, she knows her cheese and she knows when it doesnt taste right!

No more Stone age for me!

I've had the worlds worst camera for the longest time, but, the thought of paying for an Iphone and having the monthly data package bills didn't seem too appealing, the less I have to pay for the better! But, once my stone age phone up and died this week I decided its time I bought an Iphone finally. It's been, FUN, Lily loves all the Aps and it comes in handy when I am trying to keep her entertained. She loves to take wacky pictures of herself: We thought she looked sort of like an Avatar here, lol!

Anyhow, its been a lot of fun.. now its time to move... time to start decorating!! :)

Have a good weekend!

Feeling Defeated

Back in December the company I work for changed insurance providers, sadly this meant I would no longer be able to see my regular doctor that I have gone to for the past 6+ years; I was not thrilled about this at all. I loved my doctor, he knew my name, he remembered me and my daughter (he even delivered her) and better yet he listened and was thorough and really took care of your needs rather than brushing you aside like you were just another person stuck with crappy health insurance that they don’t want to waste a lot of time on. So, I lose my good doctor just in time to find out that I am pregnant again, and man things started off rough with this one, I mean rough. I had to take a chance on a new OB I knew nothing about, a new medical office, a new hospital.. no more Loma Linda for me. By the time I actually got to see my OB I had already gone to Urgent care 3 times and spent 8 hours in the Emergency room bleeding not knowing if I was even going to be able to carry this baby, and still, he spent about 5 minutes with me my last 2 appointments with him… yes.. 5 minutes, all I got was….. here is a good heart beat.. any questions?….. okay.. see you in 4 weeks time . I am really really unhappy with my new doctor, I want my old doctor back, it’s not fair! I feel like I am stuck now because I don’t know where else to go and if this new insurance will even cover me. I don’t want to be unhappy with the person that is going to deliver my baby; and I don’t want to be too much like Katherine Heigl’s character in Knocked Up (trust me.. I am starting to feel like this right now), I just feel defeated. Are my expectations too high.. was I just spoiled before and now this is typical OB care at a subpar Medical facility? I feel like I have to keep reading my baby books to really know what’s going on or if I have a question I can refer to it.

I am honing in on 18 weeks now, almost halfway there.. I’m still nauseated, still tired as heck, still have morning sickness until about 11 a.m…. I feel like I am barely functioning and its overwhelming. I wish I could get up at 6 and feel refreshed and actually want to take a shower (without constantly having to throw up in between shaving and shampooing), I wish I wanted to put makeup on and care about my appearance right now because looking like a troll all the time doesn’t help when you are already feeling crummy. I hope things get better, soon. 22 more weeks of this doesn’t sound like a lot of fun right now.

On another note.. Lily is very excited for the baby, she even name “him” Wall… as in Wall-E, lol. Sometimes she goes back and forth between wanting a brother and wanting a sister, so sometimes the baby’s name is Wall Ann. She cracks me up.

I can't believe my little girl is going to be 6 this year... time flies. I can't wait to see what this baby is going to look like!

Feeling kinda sentimental today

I miss being a little girl, free from worries or stress and I miss growing up and pestering my older sister, it was only because I looked up to her so much, lol. I feel like sometimes I don't get to see her as much as I want to, or talk to her as much (I tend to bottle things in and I don't open up very easily.. I know.. totally my fault, I need to get over this). She is an amazing person, especially an amazing mom and a true inspiration, and trust me, I need inspiration and guidance almost every second of my life. I've never been the type to open up easily or to talk about feelings, even giving hugs and saying I love you is hard for me, I never figured this out, but I am trying to change that about me. It's sort of sad being like this, always really shy and passive and worrying about what others think, I think it stops me from being the real me and enjoying family and friends and everyone in between. I am blessed to have her as a sister and to have her as an example as to what a good person and mom should be (we haven't always had the best examples of what this is) and I hope I can juggle 2 kids half as well as she does with 3 boys!

So, Dena.. here's to you, sorry for being such a complicated sister sometimes. I do truly love you and the boys so much, I hope you have always known that.

Love,

Your sister

Welcome back!

Okay.. seriously.. so not a good blogger, but I am really going to attempt to be better, I mean really attempt this time. So much has gone on the last few months (good and bad) I dont even know where to begin. But, with a new baby on the way I want to be sure and record as many of these new memories as possible and definitely focus on the good things in life right now. I've been challenged with so much lately that I wonder how much more I can take, I feel so "tested" all the time, but, I know it will get better and we will come out on top, eventually. Lily is almost finished with Kindergarten, oh man, that really flew by. I can't believe she will be in the first grade in a few months; she is so independent and her own little person now that I am sad, no more baby that wants all my help or love and attention anymore. I wouldn't change it though, its so fun watching her develop into her own and equally fun to watch her learn and change. She is doing really well in her piano lessons, her teacher is really impressed; I can't wait until she is really good, I know she will be, she is so musical and intelligent.

As for the baby, Kerell and I don't know what it is yet, but he hopes for a boy. I just hope for a healthy baby, but a boy would be nice that way Lily can be the baby girl still. We are 17 weeks along, and so far I have gained about 4-5 pounds, not too bad! Less than 23 weeks to go!